BUSHWICK— A local man performed an exorcism on his radiator Friday night. 

Russell, a struggling yoga instructor, said he first sensed something was off when his radiator started hissing at him and threatening to consume his soul.  

“I just had a feeling, you know,” Russell said, while burning incense. “During my gap year in Chiang Mai, my host family taught me about evil spirits and how to ward them off.

Surrounded by DIY candles and his hairless cats Kombucha and Kafka, Russell performed the exorcism over the course of five Fred Again albums. The spirit eventually dissipated and was last seen heading toward the Margaritaville in Times Square. 

“I’m just thankful to be safe again," said Russell.  Hey, want to try some of my homemade milk tea?”